Sometimes You Will Never Know The Value Of A Moment, Until It Becomes A Memory.

It has been a few months since my last post, and so many incredible things have happened. As I write this it hits me how much of a massive deal this post is, and how there were so many times I did not dare to imagine I would be here writing these words.

But first, let us return to the end of March... Due to my practical exam lingering not too far away, and knowing that the task of removing a horseshoe ALWAYS crops up, I thought it would be a good idea to get some practice in. I was able to receive some help from the uni's farrier with this, which was extremely beneficial since I had a huge mental block with the whole thing - the last time I practised this was back in January 2015, and when I first noticed I wasn't feeling too great before my diagnosis... Anyway, after I was made to remove 3, I felt somewhat more comfortable with the whole thing, safe in the knowledge that I didn't actually have to remove the shoe in 5 minutes in order to pass that station should it come up. Back in January I had also decided to apply for the Vets4Pets New Graduate Programme, and had successfully passed the paper sift and telephone interview. The next step was attending an assessment centre for the day, which was fortunately just down the road from Amy. It was so lovely to catch up with her and see her menagarie again! 

The following week I managed to get my research project in on time, and within the word limit - just! And just in time to spend a brilliant week with Grace, Alex and Tess at Grace's lovely equine practice over in Suffolk. I learnt a great deal about Strangles that's for sure, which happened to help a lot with my exams in the end too, and met a really tiny, very cute donkey!

It was also really nice to catch up with the newly engaged couple and hear all about their wedding plans. On the way back to Bucks, I stopped off in Kent for Lucy's birthday meal with all her lovely family and friends, and finished off the evening with a game of Settlers - as you do at the age of 25 it would seem! The last week of the month was spent practising for the OPSVE with Lottie's old bag of tricks that she had collected for her practical exam the previous year. After 3 hours of 5 minute stations, it was finally over. And there was nothing more I could do about it. I knew I'd fluffed a few things but it was in the hands of the gods now.

So in order to forget about it...April kicked off with a trip with Teenage Cancer Trust to the Royal Albert Hall to see The Pet Shop Boys! We spent the afternoon having a fantastic music workshop with the band that work there - I'd forgotten about my old passion for making music, but wow was the fire for it back again. The evening was amazing, we had an incredible dinner provided for us before we watched the gig and, during the interval, whilst being sent to go on stage (with the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra!), we bumped into Dermot O'leary and Roger Daltrey - it was an experience I will never, ever forget. As a result, I was eager to get involved with the band that was forming at university for the Final Year Revue - a showcase the final year put on every year - and so the rehearsals began!

Of course, throughout all this fun stuff, I still had hospital appointments to go to, but it felt like they were finally getting fewer and further between. Although, I didn't seem to help myself by generally booking them all for the same week...

I was also able to complete my final two weeks of EMS at Glaven Vets, who were absolutely fantastic and definitely helped me to boost my confidence before finals! And before I knew it we had started our elective weeks - a week of CPD standard lectures on Feline Medicine, another in Clinical Nutrition and a final one in Soft Tissue Surgery - all of which were extremely interesting and involved brilliant practicals, especially the Soft Tissue Surgery week.

The beginning of May meant revision, revision, revision. However, I was also invited to an interview with one of the Companion Care practices in Kent. They were so lovely and welcoming so I felt really positive. I was also able to spend one Saturday working at the university's open day - a job that I love doing - and the amount of campus tours I did definitely helped up my step count for the week! 

Ellie and I also had Harry Potter Live to go to - a slightly drunken decision, which turned out to be a great one! The music was played live by the orchestra over the film of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone - it was truly incredible to witness. This was quickly followed by a brilliant Eurovision party at Ellie's, which then lead to a night out in Brixton. I figured if I could survive one near death experience, I may be able to survive two - only kidding! It was a great evening!

Final Year Revue then arrived in no time at all, and fortunately the band had been rehearsing hard so we were ready for it! We all had a great couple of nights and the audience seemed to really enjoy it. I also somehow managed to have time to set up a small RVC Marrow Group, whose aim (with the help of Anthony Nolan) is to raise awareness of Anthony Nolan, help with fundraising efforts and host recruitment events. The team we had put together were fantastic, and after an initial awareness campaign, we held a recruitment event where we managed to successfully recruit 57 applicants to the donor register. An amazing amount for any Marrow Group, let alone as a result of the first recruitment event the group had hosted.

The FYR Band

RVC Marrow

By this time I was in full hermit mode. Revision had taken over, and Emily was the best revision buddy and semi-pro teacher anyone could ask for. However, in the last week of revision I was hit with an infection. I was running a pretty high temperature, despite taking paracetamol and oral antibiotics, so I had to be admitted to Barnet Hospital for IV antibiotics - I think my record that time round was 40.5 degrees C...so not great. My Auntie Sara, very kindly took me into hospital and kept an eye on me. After speaking to the amazing people at The Royal Marsden, and explaining that I was a week away from finals, and I had to get out of hospital as soon as physically possible, they were able to get me onto the 'Domestos' of antibiotics to help sort out any infection I may have (although everyone was convinced it was a virus). Emily and Sara both visited regularly, Emily to try and do some revision sessions with me, and Sara to make sure the crazy people I was on the ward with hadn't driven me mad yet. After 5 days I was able to spend the weekend at my Aunt's for TLC, R&R (rest and revision), with just outpatient appointments to go to for IV antibiotics. I can't thank Sara enough for her help that week - I think I would have had a melt down otherwise.

Then finals arrived, which were fairly hideous to say the least - I came out of the last exam in tears (essentially imagine the scene in Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, when Hermione's crying in the toilets and then the troll arrives. Yep, that was me - only I was wishing a troll would appear...). Then cue an email offering free ice cream next to the SU and Pimms at £2 a pint - every cloud... The week that followed involved me trying to distract myself as much as possible before exam results appeared. So, I moved out of halls, took a trip to Kent to see the old kennel girls, and had a load of hospital appointments.

And then it was results day...and I managed to pass! 😮 Therefore, I was able to fully accept my job offer in Kent! (Sorry forgot to mention that bit) But the feeling was bittersweet, as there were always going to be people who hadn't been successful. Other colleagues who I'd either worked with on rotations, or for the Final Year Revue, or I'd socialised with. The last push at vet school isn't a competition, it is a team effort, and when other people don't succeed you can't help but feel like you've let them down...a feeling I'm still struggling with.

Since then I've been keeping myself busy. I visited the family in Norfolk for a long weekend over Father's Day and to celebrate passing my finals. It was nice to visit without doing EMS this time round, and was actually able to be a bit of tourist! My grandparents were visiting at the same time, so it was really lovely to have some family time.

Me and the grandparents in Norfolk

I then had Grad Ball, and enjoyed a lovely night at Hatfield House with friends, both old and new. Fortunately the weather held and despite our campus being turned into a building site, we had a brilliant time.

Grad Ball

Later that week, Boo, Sophie and I enjoyed an amazing night watching Adele at Wembley Stadium - it was absolutely incredible, but again, bittersweet as I know so many people who weren't able to see her in the end due to the cancellation of her weekend performances. She was absolutely fantastic though, and I really do hope she reschedules those other dates.

Sophie and me ready for Adele!

Finally, at the end of June, I was fortunate enough to have the pleasure of being the patient speaker at an Anthony Nolan Fundraising Breakfast at The Ivy. It was very nerve wracking, since my speech was going to be critical in hopefully helping to secure donations, and also because Olivia Coleman was there supporting the event. However, it seemed to go relatively well - I received some nice feedback at least, and a lovely bunch of flowers!

Tony Hurran (another SCT patient), Yaser (from Team Margot) & myself at The Ivy

July began with an inspirational and motivational conference run by the charity Teens Unite, called Discover You. It included some amazing talks from some incredible people - cancer patients, motivational speakers, and Jade Johnson, who told us about her journey to becoming an Olympic athlete and the resilience she has shown her entire life. It was an incredible, really well organised day.

Discover You Conference

The following day was my cousins' 21st and 16th joint birthday party! It was a great day - the weather was perfect, the food was delicious and the company was brilliant! After a rest day it was Wimbledon! I was so so lucky to have been offered two free ground passes for Emily and I by one of my Auntie Boo's very generous contacts, so we were guaranteed some live tennis! And the weather held for us, we had Pimms, strawberries and cream, lunch on Henman Hill, bought an overpriced towel, watched a Brit win a match and a Brit lose a match. I think we ticked every box! It was amazing!

Wimbledon

And then, before I knew it - it was Graduation Day! I was lucky enough to catch Emily just after her ceremony, which was fantastic. I am so incredibly proud of her, she is one of the most resilient, brave and intelligent ladies I know. She really is amazing. 

Graduation Day - 05/07/17

Then, despite my parents having travel problems, I managed to meet them and Auntie Boo just in time for mum to inhale some lunch before registration began. We managed to get the photos out of the way early on, so were ready for when we had to go into the hall for the ceremony. It was quite a stressful but awesome day. And while I'm on the topic - I just wanted to say a massive thank you to everyone who sent me cards or gifts! You're all so lovely!

Graduation Ceremony - Central Hall Westminster

Dad very kindly finished the day off by booking the Savoy Grill for dinner, which was absolutely incredible. Honestly, one of the best meals I have ever had. Thank you so so much, Dad! 

Dinner at The Savoy

Finally, I finished off last week with BST Hyde Park to see Tears for Fears, Elbow and The Killers - who I've wanted to see for over a decade! Showing my age here... - with Lucy, Alex, Ellie, Alice and Woody. It was an amazing afternoon and evening of awesome music. I think I have the bug for live music again, well more of an addiction really, but it's probably one of the better addictions to have!

The plan for the next few weeks is to have some proper R&R, start my move back down to Kent, and try and get prepared for the world of work. I also have the British Transplant Games to get through. I can't say I'm not terrified, but I do like a challenge! Wish me luck!

Much love to you all xxx

If Only They Could Talk.

It's been A LOT longer than I would have liked since writing my last blog. And as ever, it's not because I've been having a quiet life. My days have been primarily full of hospital appointments, dental appointments, optician appointments and occupational health appointments, appointments about my research project, hair appointments and appointments I haven't been able to attend due to my health, again.

September started nicely with a great birthday, which was mainly because I had the first of my baby vaccinations again! A mile stone in the path towards getting back to university. The girls from home and I all celebrated the weekend before with a meal and seeing Bridget's Baby. Lucy and I also went to see Later with Jools Holland being filmed, which was incredible! We saw Sting, Jack White and Kings of Leon, to name-drop but a few!

However, October didn't want to continue the string of good luck I had been having. It started off with a septic elbow the week I was aiming to move in with my aunt and get all my research project conquered. Instead I found myself once more in A&E, this time being moved from Maidstone Hospital to Pembury. It began with excruciating pain overnight and then during the course of the journey to hospital my temperature went up by over a degree (which isn't good). Once at Pembury it then took them 3 days to operate, even after tapping it as soon as I arrived and seeing I needed surgery ASAP. That's another procedure that I feel for animals over even more now - although for septic joints they tend to get surgery within 24hours. It was absolute agony, and I think the rest of the ward discovered that too. I was once again admitted for nearly a week, meaning I missed the second CLIC Sargent award ceremony I had been invited to. Although, this year I have the pleasure in helping with the organisation of the next, hoping it will be bigger and better than ever before. So, if there are any celebrities out there who would like to make a guest appearance, we, and all the invited teenager and young people, I'm sure, would adore it.

The end of October picked up with Dad's retirement and Lottie's graduation from student vet nurse to Registered Vet Nurse. I am so incredibly proud of both of them. I was also given the great news that I could move to monthly ECP treatments, which only helps things, what with uni from January. Also, since I was unable to see Ellie on her birthday due to said septic elbow, she very kindly took me with her to see The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time play, which was outstanding! We also went to a Ceilidh (after a small incident of me nearly bleeding everywhere after my stitches were taken out of my elbow - turns out they give more heparin in my ECP treatments than I realised, and please note that no, I did not dance as a result). Lucy joined us for it, along with a lot of Ellie's other friends, and for her Halloween party. A great time was had by all! I am already looking forward to this year's!

The theme was "dead famous people from the last decade"

November started as well as October finished, with me finally moving in with my aunt, Boo, and a weekend at Grace's for fireworks. I had a brilliant time, and a lovely catch up. Really can't wait to see them again soon! Lucy, Ellie and I also had our very yummy afternoon tea at the Secret Garden the weekend after. It was a belated birthday present from Lucy for us both, but one we were both more than happy to wait for! The weekend after brought the London Vet Show, which was great for trying to get my head back into things before uni, and a screening of Fantastic Beasts & Where To Find Them at the Harry Potter Studios with Lucy. Yes, I have visited there again...And again, it was brilliant!

Bonfire night

Afternoon tea at The Secret Garden

I then had a mock OSPVE (It means Objective Structured Practical Veterinary Examination - yes, I had to Google it too), which made me realise that maybe I can remember some bits and pieces from uni. Having said that I wasn't allowed to do any barn stations, so I can't say I was truly in my 'uncomfortable zone'.

However, in December things started to slip again. A lung function test revealed that although my lung volume is normal, they are functioning at around 50% of what they should be. Probably mainly due to a couple of bouts of pneumonia and the time in a coma on a ventilator - but that's a minor point. It's basically scar tissue on a minute scale in my alveolar that is causing the problems that I have. My eyes were also a constant struggle, making staring at a screen for any length of time extremely difficult. Hence, why my research project still hasn't been handed in yet, and why my blog has taken several months to make an appearance. My intrathecal chemotherapy also didn't help that at all before Christmas. I spent a week lying on the sofa, my head pounding and unable to focus on the TV...let alone a job application or my project.

After multiple problems at the doctors, I was finally able to get the remaining vaccinations I needed to get back to uni, and luckily I was cleared to go back to uni on a half-day phased return protocol by the return to work coordinator. I have also had to see a couple of podiatrists to get me back on my feet for uni too! Although, just as I thought it was going swimmingly, I got shingles, right as I was supposed to start back. Now, even healthy people feel awful with shingles and I felt pretty rotten. I dragged myself through my half days in Internal Medicine, only to collapse on my bed as soon as I got back to my room to snooze. I tried pushing myself to do more than my half day though, which I did manage a couple of times, but due to yet more appointments I only got 4 half-ish days in the department, not the 10 I was expecting and hoping for. 

I did, however, due to my exhausted state, manage to rearrange my remaining EMS (work placements vet students have to complete before graduation) weeks with an amazingly supportive practice just down the road from my parents in Norfolk. They made me feel so welcome, and really understood that I was still having to ease myself back into it all. By the end of the two weeks I was even surprising myself doing much more surgery than I thought myself capable of. It's very strange knowing that I could do something well before yet my muscles having to relearn it because my hands feel so different now, and my strength is so far from what it was. But my confidence is growing with every day I'm back in my natural environment.

Since then I've completed both of my last rotations - cardio and critical care - both of which I found my personal experiences being a great advantage to remembering certain topics we encountered - such as, mitral valve regurgitation, nasogastric tubes, and the effects of midazolam. Between rotations I had a few appointments, one with a new pain clinic consultant, who did look at me like I was clinically insane for wanting to continue in fulfilling my dream of graduating, but give him his due, I'm weaning off the oxycodone and coping with my peripheral neuropathy so much better already.

So, all in all, 3rd March 2017 was a pretty good day - a) Ed Sheeran's album was released; b) my inpatient in ICU was still alive and doing well (yes, these small things are a massive deal); c) it was my last day of rotations/in the QMHA.

MASSIVE MILE STONE REACHED.

Standard 'last day in the QMHA' pic

This week I have enjoyed a couple of lie ins until ooo about 8.30am - rebel. Have got nearly all of my research project done. Just 57 words stand between me and its submission now. I've also been making sure I practise as many of my practical skills each day as my hands can possibly cope with. My real OSPVE is in 3 weeks - oh yay.  I did also find some time to have a very lovely, chilled lunch with Steph, from my rotations family, who I hadn't seen for nearly two years - so so good to catch up, though I fear we could have sat and chatted all day!

So, what's the plan now? Well I've officially given up with those. But the next stage is to successfully complete a week of EMS with Grace at her very kind practice who have agreed to let me see practice with them. Then it's my OSPVE... And a couple more weeks with the lovely Norfolk practice I went to; my three elective weeks; a tonne of revision; and then, FINALS. In less than 13 weeks... In between, I have a couple of ECP sessions, an intrathecal and a number of other appointments. But one day at a time!

I'd really appreciate it though if all you lovely people would please keep your fingers crossed for no major disasters in the mean time...as I may need all the luck I can hope for to get through the next 3 and a bit months...thank youuuu!

Much love to you all xxx